Networking Advice for Creatives Who Hate Networking
Networking Advice for Creatives Who Hate Networking:
Give a Sh*t (And Act Like It)
You go to networking events. You trade information. You talk about the parking, the cold appetizers, where you’re from. You do some coffees or zooms. You know a few people… but the relationships don’t feel meaningful. You’re not finding new opportunities. You still feel stuck.
You feel like you’re doing the right things, but nothing is happening.
I’ve been there.
After I landed my first TV writing job 20 years ago, I felt like all my dreams had come true. I remember looking out of the windows of my office on the Disney lot and thinking, “Whew! I made it! I’ll just keep on doing good work for this show and surely other shows will just find me and keep giving me jobs. I don’t have to do anything other than good writing.”
That was… an incorrect assumption.
While I did do good work, I did approximately zero networking. So, when that job ended, I was not in a position to get another gig. It was past time to start networking, so I got right on it; and I networked the way most of us were taught to: Go to networking events. Give everyone your elevator pitch. Send 10 emails a day.
I tried to do it right. I went to networking events and dutifully put my name on sticky name tags that curled up and fell off my sweaters immediately. I posted random career accolades on social media, crossing my fingers that the right person would find them. I pinged VIPs hoping that they’d bestow upon me a job.
It didn’t work. And two years after my Disney job ended, I was still unemployed, down to individual dollars in my bank, and thinking that I was going to have to pack it all in, head back to Texas and figure out something else to do with my life. Plus, I was exhausted, annoyed, and felt fake.
But then realized something that changed everything.
I thought networking was supposed to be about me: what I wanted, what I needed, what I was hoping to do next. But what if I made it about other people? I already cared about them, it was time to show it.
I switched up my networking practice and things changed. I made more money. I made new friends. I got free places to stay overseas! I also built a wonderful circle of inspiring colleagues and a 24-year career that isn’t slowing down anytime soon.
Now, let me be clear. This wasn’t about giving up my own career goals exclusively in the service of others. Hi, Capitalism, I still have bills to pay. But, when I stopped scanning every conversation for an in, networking stopped feeling like weird auditions, and actually started feeling like actual connection, which led to far more (and more interesting) opportunities.
Here’s what that looks like in practice.
During the conversation: Listen like you give a sh*t.
Let’s be honest. Most networking conversations are kinda crappy. You ask someone what they’re working on and they give you a little TED Talk and you half-listen while they answer. Then they ask you the same question and immediately dissociate while you try to sound clever. Then both parties end the conversation not really knowing much about the other, but hoping that the other one will magically give them a job.
We can all do better.
You don’t need some “non-traditional” icebreaker like, “What’s lighting you up these days?” or “If you were an ice cream flavor, what planet do you think would most likely destroy Earth?” Nobody likes that.
But people do love to talk about themselves. So let them.
Questions like “How are you feeling about that,” “What helped you come up with that idea,” or even a simple, “Tell me more” aren’t invasive or tricks. They’re just ways to show that you’re interested in someone beyond what they can do for you. You’ll get information that can help you support them. And that’s now real networks get built.
After you connect: Continue giving a sh*t.
When the coffee or Zoom is over, write down what you can remember (I literally put this info into my own networking tracker) and ask yourself: Do I know someone who might be fun or helpful for this person to meet? Did they mention something I can actually help with? Is there a podcast, organization, school, or company that might enjoy them as a speaker?
The goal here isn’t to become this person’s career butler and end up responsible for their happiness. But thinking outwardly like this creates a more empowered state than just hoping someone does whatever you want or need them to do. You become a person who contributes, which is a powerful kind of person to be. The fact that you’re willing to show up for others can make others feel much more comfortable showing up for you.
When you follow up: Let them know you gave a sh*t.
When you reach back out, see if you can send something other than “Hey, hope you’re well. Know of any opportunities…”
Will you sometimes ask directly for help, opportunities, advice, or support. Of course. But if every communication is that, it’s harder to build a real relationship. If you can build some back and forth about the other things you talked about—anything fun and personal for them—you’ll be much closer to building the kind of relationship that lasts and becomes genuinely meaningful to both of you.
The point here is this: You don’t need to obsess over how you come across. When you take the focus off of yourself and concentrate instead on the quality of connection you’re bringing to others, everything else will take care of itself. As you learn to demonstrate your curiosity, support, and confidence, your network will reflect it back to you in terms of meaningful connections that help move your career forward.
If networking sounds less fun than sitting on hot tar, I can help.
The New Networking for Creatives is my practical course for thoughtful creatives who want meaningful professional relationships without fake schmoozing.
In the course you’ll find:
• mindset shifts like these
• what to actually say
• follow-up strategies
• sustainable systems
• real-world scenarios
• the full give a shit framework
• and more!
Or if you just want regular tips, find me on TikTok @aydreawalden
